Looks like we’re moving out

Quick side note: the King of Sweden, the Prince of Panama and the President of Indonesia were all visiting my campus today. Apparently this is the busy travel season for B-level dignitaries that nobody knew existed. There’s a King of Sweden? WTF?! And why is he visiting IT campuses in India?

Aaanyway...

So it would appear that many of the Americans living in Adarsh Gardens (the apartment complex where we are all put up) may finally be getting “kicked out.” Actually, we’re not getting kicked out as much as we’ve implicitly received several notices that we are no longer welcome there anymore. Our expulsion can easily be understood when the cultural differences are examined.

First of all, we are technically not allowed to have any alcohol in our apartments. Huge cultural difference #1!!!! In the US we have been completely socialized to expect the presence of alcohol at almost any gathering. A significant portion of the Indian population does not drink at all, and they expect not to be bothered by those who may decide to have a few chardonnays now and then. This would seem to be a completely reasonable request. However, here is the problem: The bars in Bangalore close around 11:30 PM. Of course this is clearly too early to end the party when it’s a Friday night and you’ve just finished a stressful week at work. The way we curtail the trend towards lameness is by having little post-party get-togethers at Adarsh Gardens. This requires a little booze. You can imagine where this is going… We come back around midnight, put on a little light music and enjoy each other’s company for a few more hours. Next thing you know, the superintendent is called in to quell the riot.

IndiaIT (what I can the company I work for) owns approximately 60 units in Adarsh Gardens. We are the only “permanent” residents; the other units are used to house employees who are only in town for a few weeks on a project. The original residents of the apartment complex would like nothing better than for IndiaIT to abandon these units, allowing them to be filled with Indian families who enjoy similar cultural values rather than the foreign business professionals that occupy a unit for only two. I can imagine it’s unsettling to have strange foreigners walking around your apartment complex amongst your small children. So they clearly want us gone ASAP.

There are other glaring differences between the Indian and American value system. The basic unit of Indian culture is the family, and this is really difficult for someone from the US to fully understand. Many of the families we live with have a few children, most of which are under the age of 12. You would think this would render the complex completely childproof and silent after dark. Not true, many Indian residents have rowdy get-togethers where music is played very loudly late into the night. Why are they allowed to be rowdy until the wee hours of the morning? Apparently it’s the presence of alcohol we bring that makes the difference. Then I ask, what difference does that make? The only way you could tell the difference between a non-alcoholic party and a fun party is by actually being present inside. The noise of the music, whether it is Bollywood or Black Eyed Peas, will sound the same from either type of party. I might even say that our music is played at a lesser volume. The conversation of the crown, whether in Hindi or slurred English, sounds the same emanating from either party. It is only the Americans, however, who receive complaints.

Here’s another significant cultural divide: In India, men are NEVER allowed in a female’s apartment. It’s just not done! In fact, it is common to see apartment complexes in India that only house women, just another way to maintain the status quo. So when two single women are living on their own and have male visitors on a consistent basis, only one conclusion can be made: the women operate a successful brothel. Apparently brothels are frowned upon in India, and Winnie and Laura’s apartment has caused several residents to complain about our lifestyle, especially when Scott and I spend so much time there. So this co-ed mingling that may seem completely normal for someone schooled in the US (unless, of course, you went to Notre Dame) is seen as living in sin here in India. Apparently it’s also an Indian value not avoid raising your children in the presence of sin. Man, the times, they are a changin’...

So with my circumstance (nowhere to hang out on weekends) and the situation of the residents (despising the presence of prostitutes) it’s safe to say that the residents will file a complaint any time they hear fun occurring after 11:00 PM. Bummer for us.

So who’s at fault here?

Nobody. The Americans hired to work here in Bangalore were assured that our living situation in India would be comparable to what we could expect in the US. This means that the men can hang out with the opposite sex, alcohol can be legally consumed, and we are given the same courtesy as any Indian family living in the complex. However, this does not seem to be the case. Yes, there is a double standard for Indians having parties and Americans having parties, but it’s merely a result of two completely opposite groups of people being forced to coexist in the same complex. Neither behavior is inappropriate.

The best decision would be to simply move to a place where we can enjoy our lifestyle of choice. Listen, it’s not like we’re crazy alcoholics who have sexy parties seven nights a week. We’re relatively calm, relatively intelligent Americans who went to some of the best schools in the US. We were all successful, so we obviously know how to handle ourselves and balance work and play. But when you get down to it, we’re all around 22 years of age. We’ve just graduated from American universities and we’re not quite ready to let go of that lifestyle, and that’s OK! It would just be a mutually beneficial arrangement for the residents and us to find a place that is conducive to our style of living.

Any parent of a teenager can tell you, those of us in the 17 – 24 age group are going to find a way to “have fun” (however you interpret this) no matter what rules are imposed. We might as well do this in a place where young, conservative families are not present. Let’s just say that we’d like to live a PG-13 existence where our neighbors are really not comfortable with anything close to PG. We’d like to fit in a curse word here and there, but our neighbors reject mildly suggestive dialogue.

Now how do we go about finding an apartment in India? I’ll keep you updated.