So I’ve been here for about 9 weeks now and the time has just flown by. I’m confident that the 18 months, or however long it will be, I will be here will disappear just as fast. That doesn’t, however, keep me from missing the thousands of things that make the United States of American the greatest place in the world. Let me take this opportunity to point out a few of them.
Keeping in mind the recent circumstances in the US most people would be shocked to hear me say that. While I have been shocked and supremely disappointed with the government’s relief effort in Louisiana, I actually have to agree, for the first time in my life, with what the Bush administration’s line: There will be plenty of time to assess the blame, for right now we need to focus on saving as many lives as possible while restoring any semblance of order. And I digress…
So there are many things in the US that I disagree with, but this is not the time for that. There are so many things in the United States that I couldn’t agree with more, why be so negative?
1. Major League Baseball
I have determined that cricket is boring as shit compared to baseball. In what kind of ridiculous sport can one game last 5 days and often end up in a draw?! Cricket! How fucking frustrating is that?! Can you believe that people consider these marathon games ending with practically no outcome “beautiful cricketing!”? As far as I can tell, there is very little strategy involved. To be fair, I’m still learning the game, and actually hope to play sometime soon but only as an act of desperation as I cannot even watch a game of baseball.
Not to mention that MLB has been incredible this season! So many great stories and tight races coming down to the last few weeks! The wildcard race in both the American and National leagues are great to watch. There’s basically a playoff game everyday, which makes it even more difficult, because, again, I can’t watch any of them. It looks like the Braves are going to take the NL East again, but I won’t be able to watch the playoffs…
I’m sorry….I promised I wouldn’t get emotional. Moving on…
2. American Football (National Football League and College Football)
So what if the Broncos were crushed by none other than the Dolphins? So what if I’m dead last in both fantasy leagues I’m participating in? So what if Notre Frickin’ Dame is ranked in the top 10? American football is the best sport on the globe by far! God bless any country that creates a sport that can be this intricate and strategic while also being so violent! And they play it in ANY weather barring a major natural disaster. Oh, how I miss it!
On the bright side, Northwestern is 2-0 and actually showing some signs of life. Too bad they’ll get destroyed when Big Ten play starts. Don’t get me wrong, they’ll take out a Michigan or an Iowa, but they’ll be below .500 at the end of the season. But what I wouldn’t give to watch a game slightly inebriated at Ryan Field after I set my alarm for 8:00 AM only to drink bad beer at Beta West?
Which leads me to the third best thing about the USA…
3. The American Fraternity
As disillusioned as I became towards the end of my involvement in the Greek community, I actually find myself missing much of it. For some reason I decided to stay on the frat listserve just so I can keep up with what’s going on with Beta at NU. After all, I figured it’s an easy way to stay connected to friends in the US. No longer being involved, these e-mails are incredible to read. Let me ask you this:
Where else do grown men spend 3 entire months doing little else than devising plans to pick up young boys, tempt them back to your residence with promises of woman and mind-altering substances, all in an effort to convince them to spend the next 3 years of their lives with you? One place: a fraternity.
Where else do you find men fighting endlessly over the particulars of a T-shirt design for shirts that have no significant bearing on anything whatsoever? Frats.
Where else will 30 affluent young men live in absolute squalor for 2 years only to look back on it as the best years of their lives? Frats…and maybe some parts of India.
Where else do men spend weeks collecting money from everyone they know for the sole purpose of getting little boys and girls drunk off their asses just so they’ll do things they wouldn’t ordinarily do sober? Actually, now that I think about it, this is a value that seems to transcend both culture and border.
On a side note, this leads me to an interesting observation. Bear with me for a sec.
Guess what I am describing below?
Dozens of men lined up to receive food of a questionable nature dished out of large metal vats. Groups of dudes walking the streets with open containers of alcohol they acquired from street side gatherings available every few blocks where other men hand out cheap, lukewarm beer and room temperature shots of bad whiskey and vodka. Drunken fools urinating on the most convenient building and taking advantage of poorly enforced laws regarding controlled substances. These thugs then go on a desperate journey in search of female companionship that more often than not will yield no results.
Would this be an accurate portrayal of an American Fraternity on a Friday evening or an average Indian street on a Friday evening? Could easily be either!!! Who knew?
Unfortunately, in India I cannot dedicate an entire Saturday to a sporting even that lasts a few hours. I can’t paint my face for no reason. I can’t argue with my best friends about the most strategic position for the 3rd reserve keg. I can’t boost my ego talking to freshman guys who regard you little less than a god, but then join another house.
Here are a few more things that I miss about the United States:
- Normal women
- Paved roads, sans livestock
- McDonalds, Wendy’s, Chipotle…even BK
- American music/movies
- Miller products
- Seatbelts
- American newspapers
That’s enough for today. Can you tell that I’ve had a little bit more free time today? It’s so nice to be done with that last project. If you want details, drop me an e-mail (nlinkon@gmail.com) or give me a call and I’ll fill you in.
Also, I have this cell phone that my company pays for, so if you want me to give you a call sometime, just drop me an e-mail and we’ll coordinate a conference call. I’m sure I can figure out a business related reason why I have to call you.
Until then, here is your moment of Zen (Winnie beating 2 Big Ten frat guys and two German dudes at beer drinking games):
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